Well my last update was full of happiness, huh? I'm glad that i'm in a better place with everything at this time. I had a long talk with my sister about it (via text messages...but sometimes i say more that way then i would if i were talking voice to voice, anyone else?) and i feel better knowing she understand where i'm coming from. I am even more thankful i have such a wonderful and supportive husband. I know i said he hadnt asked me how i was feeling but, again, i just had to explain it and he understands now that i need that from him especially. I really dont know how to express how thankful i am that this miscarriage has brought us closer as opposed to tearing us apart like i can. It is sad that something so tragic had to happen to bring us closer but i'm trying to look at the bright side of things here!
With all that said, we are now currently in cycle number 5 of our journey to become parents. The last time i updated was in December. Obviously that cycle didnt work. It was also our last cycle with clomid or any medical help. My ob/gyn told me if this 150mg of clomid didnt work for us she was going to refer me to a specialist. Can you imagine the pressure I felt with that "diagnosis?" Chris and I are not prepared financially to see a specialist on a regular basis. My insurance charges $60 per visit for a specialist, not to mention any ultrasounds/procedures/tests they would need to run just to find out whats going on. So basically if that last cycle of clomid didnt work, our journey was over. It was a pretty big blow to the hope we had of becoming parents.
I was pretty nervous when it was test time, even though i already knew i wasnt pregnant, you always have that sliver of hope. So i wasnt really shocked when the tests were BFNs. That cycle ended up being a 35 day cycle. But i am pleased i was again able to start this cycle on my own. Since i started taking clomid 4 cycles ago, i have started each cycle on my own. Which is big considering before that nothing was happening.
So cycle #5 began on January 14th, which makes today CD7. You better believe i am anxious to see how this unmedicated cycle plays out. Will i ovulate on my own? If we arent pregnant will i start Cycle #6 on my own? What will we do if I dont ovulate or dont start another cycle on my own?
I have been doing some research on herbal supplements to help our fertility issues along. If the doctor no longer wants to help us, then i've got to take my fertility into my own hands. Some women swear by them, and some havent had much help with them. I've discussed it with Chris and we've both started taking a supplement. Maca root is good for both sexes, and helps with libido, his semen and my uterus. I also take red raspberry leaf tea capsules to help with the same things. After i ovulate i will stop taking the Maca, and only take the raspberry leaf tea. I will also eat one pineapple core the 5 days after ovulation, which is supposed to help with implantation.
Here's hoping this combination works for us!
