Cycle #3...

I never expected to have to TRY to have a baby. All those years i prevented with birth control pills seem like such a waste now. I sometimes wonder if taking those pills all those years has affected my fertility. It seems to be a trend in the TTC world. So many of us spent years preventing and when we're ready its just not happening. Like my body go used to not doing what it was supposed to because i spent so much time making sure it didnt. Apparently studies have proven that to be wrong though. Oh well, i feel like i'm grasping.

Welcome to CD4.

I'm trying really hard to keep positive. We are on cycle number 3 of trying with the help of clomid (50 mg). Some people try for YEARS. I cant imagine having to try that long and still be unsuccessful. Things seem to be getting better with each cycle. Two cycles in a row that have started on their own, which is really good. The first cycle i ovulated petty late, the second cycle i ovulated a little sooner so i'm hoping even sooner with cycle #3.

I called my OB/GYN this morning to let them know i've started another cycle and to see about upping my dose of clomid from 50 mg to 100 mg. My doctor was in surgery so the nurse said she would check with her, but that they will probably up the dose, she just has to confirm with the doctor before calling the script in. So i'm just waiting with anticipation for the call back...weird i know. Its not like i can change it. The regimine i'm on i have to take the clomid on CD 5-9, so i hope they realize i need to have that filled by tomorrow. I told the nurse when i started and such so hopefully she realized. If i havent heard by like 3:30 i think i'll call again.

Second Two Week Wait!

We are well into Cycle 2 (with Clomid) of our TTC journey. Today is CD 21 and also 1DPO! Now, this is early if i were comparing things to last cycle, 5 days early to be exact. But the good thing is, i was monitoring with OPKs and was able to catch and earlier ovulation and take the appropriate action! wink, wink! This cycle has been different in a lot of ways compared to last cycle.

Where do i begin with the differences?...

First of all, as you may already know for my last blog entry, i started the second cycle on my own. This was huge because thats the first self started cycle i've had since the miscarriage in December 2010.

Secondly, i had a teeeeeerrible headache/border line migraine for 4 days straight. And i'm not exaggerating here. It was awful! The only thing that helped was Midol which tells me it was defiantly hormone related. I held off as long as i could without taking anything, but i just couldnt function. I missed a day of work because it.

Third, i ovulated earlier this cycle. Cycle 1 i ovulated on CD24 of what ended up being a 38 day cycle. This cycle i ovualted on CD19, which if calculations are correct that would mean this cycle should last 33 days. We shall see.

Other things i've noticed this cycle that were different were my cervial position and cervical mucus. My cervix was noticably higher around ovulation and i absolutely had more CM. Those are all good indications of ovulation. I noticed these things about Sunday and thought they were strange because i wasnt expecting to ovulate for another week or so. But i had been taking an OPK every day since CD 10 so if it was going to happen early i would see it. Sure enough on Tuesday i got a positive OPK.

We had baby danced the night before so i was confident with that. I'm not sure why we didnt that night, but oh well. And then yesterday's OPK was even darker, and we BDed then too.

So i'm feeling confident this cycle. But cautiously confident.

Perhaps the first cycle was just to introduce the clomid to my system. And cycle 2 was like, ok, we can work with that and my body is doing what its supposed to this cycle. I dont know, i'm really just trying to keep myself from over thinking things like i did last cycle. But it looks like thats not working.

So, welcome to my second two week wait!

Back to the beginning. Cycle #2

We are back to the beginning. That means today is cycle day 2. Thats right, AF has arrived. In all honesty, i'm excited about it. I'm super happy i was able to start a new cycle on my own. I havent done that since the miscarriage in December. As happy as i am for this i am equally sad. Not only does this mean i am not pregnant this month, but these cramps are killing me. I didnt normally have terrible cramps, i had cramps, yeah, but nothing like these. I feel weird about it too because these cramps remind me of my miscarriage. Not quite as painful and "contraction like" but still pretty painful. I had a terrible headache for 2 days. I even left work early yesterday to deal with it. And i've been having cramps for the last three days. I have also been having hot flashes pretty frequently. I knew what was coming, as much as i wanted to deny it and tell myself they were actually pregnancy cramps and symptoms.

I'm trying to stay positive about it though and just telling myself that my body is preparing for next month and to house a future baby. All of this is worth it. Here's to next month!

FINALLY!!!

Well hells bells!!

I am SOOOOO excited!!! Just took this upon getting home from work around 5:30.
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

Still Waiting...

Its now currently CD22 and i still have yet to ovulate. Or at least i think. I've been using the OPKs but i am going cross eyed trying to read the results. Here let me post a picture of some them...

As you can see its hard to tell!! And as you can see i think its possible that I could have ovulated on 9/3, but i'm just not positive. If so today would be 10dpo, i took a pregnancy test this morning with FMU and it was a BFN. Which isnt too surprising since the OPKs are fading. I will have to get an updated picture to show you since then. I stopped writing down what time and what date i took them but you can still see the line progression. I do not temp, and i dont think i ever will. I know thats really the only way to totally confirm ovulation but i'm not doing it.

I'm getting frustrated to say the least. And its only our first round of clomid! I watched a video the other day on YouTube from a woman who ovulated on CD 31 and actually conceived so i guess hope isnt lost just yet. And AF isnt here yet so i dont know why i'm panicking, but i am! I want so badly for this to be our cycle and i feel like its not going to be. It just makes me sad.

Waiting to Ovulate!

Today is CD 12.

I've taken the prometrium and was able to have a cycle successfully. I had my doubts that it would work this time but i'm glad my doubts were just that...doubts. I'm also glad it wasnt horrendous. It was a normal cycle for me. With minimal cramps and headaches. The only think that sucked about it was that it started the day after our vacation started and our 2 year wedding anniversary. Chris had wanted us to have sex every day of our vacation so those plans had to chance.

I have taken all 5 of the clomid pills. And happily had very little side effects. Only some mild hot flashes and heart palpitations. Thats pretty much it.

Yesterday i took my first OPK and it was closer to positive then any of the previous OPKs i have ever taken, so i'm pretty excited i will ovulate this time! (Note to self: Take picture of OPK to show! :)) My doctor told me to start using the OPKs on CD 10 because some will ovulate a lot sooner then expected and soem will a lot later then expected so to cover all bases start early! Then wait the 2 weeks and take a pregnancy test or until AF is due. So i'm currently just waiting to ovulate. I wouldnt be surprised if i do within the next couple days.

Chris and I arent really planning when to have sex, we'd like to keep this fun and not turn it into a chore. I hate hearing and reading stories about timed intercourse and such. Seems so impersonal and unromantic. We want to have a child but we also want to continue our relationship in a normal fashion and conceive with love and passion. I never want either of us to get to the point where we are having sex because we have to if we want to have a child. I dont want to force him if he's not in the mood just because i'm about to ovulate. I'd love to have sex with my husband every day but some days we're just too tired or what ever. And thats perfectly ok!

I guess we arent at the desperate point yet and i hope we never do!

Prometrium and Clomid it is!

My appoitment with my OBGYN was yesterday. And i came away with it feeling happy and excited but most importantly hopeful. My appoitment was at 1:30. I left work at noon and went home and had some lunch and watched some Baby Story on TLC. I headed over to the Women's Hospital and was lucky to find a handicap spot at the front, i went early in case i'd have to park miles away. I took that as a positive sign. haha! I get all checked in and waited about 10 minutes before being called back. I was weighed (113 lbs, yikes!!!) and then gave a lovely urine sample since my last cycle was June 22nd and they just wanted to do a pregnancy test "just in case." I knew it would be negative, but that little voice in my head spoke up and was saying "what if!!" So after getting my blood pressure and my pulse i was left to wait alone. Chris would have come, he's been to all of my doctors appointments, baby related and not, but he just wasnt able to arrange his schedule at work so he could. So i sat alone for what felt like hours even though i twas probably about 10 minutes. But those thoughts in my head were getting my hopes up! Even though i knew it was going to be negative. I swear i heard someone outside the door softely saying "Pregnant?" and then another person say "yeah." And of course i thought it was directed at me and my pee sample, but of course it wasnt.

My doctor comes in and we discuss whats going on, refresh her on when the miscarriage was (uhh, why didnt she look in my chart? In fact, she didnt even have my chart with her, but whatever) and what we've done since then to induce a period and how that didnt work. Without hesitation she says she is going to have me try prometrium again to induce my period (last time i only spotted, no flow at all) and then start on clomid on CD 5-9. And then start using OPKs after that until i get a positive. And if i dont, she'll up the dose of clomid. The awesome thing about paying for clomid is, they are on the "cheap" list at Wal-Mart. If you tell them you dont have insurance (which i actually DO, but...) instead of paying $30, i only paid $9!!! Unfortunately the Prometrium was $35.

I.WAS.SHOCKED.

I fully expected to hem-haw around and have to beg to be put on clomid. Both of my sisters used clomid (more on that in a minute), so i'm not that surprised i would need it too, but i thought it took a while for the doctor to be like, ok lets try this now. My guess is though, since i'm NOT having a cycle its more of a sign i need help sooner? Whatever, i dont even care, i'm just glad! I feel like we're finally moving one step closer to becoming parents!

So, my sisters and clomid. My older sister Michelle, has been diagnosed with PCOS. She was given clomid to help her in her TTC journey with baby #2. When i asked her about her experience with clomid (before i was prescribed or visited my/our OBGYN) she told me she didnt like the side effect and stopped taking it. So she didnt conceive using clomid. However, after stopping it she did. She's had two beautiful baby boy's. Jaxton is now 4 and Jett is 2. My younger sister Stephanie, also had to use clomid. She was never diagnosed with PCOS, but she's got all of the same symptons our older sister has so i wouldnt be surprised if she does too. I'm not sure how many cycles she had to use clomid before she conceived but she is now the mother of my adorable 1 year old niece Emma. So who knows how my body and i will react to clomid. I'm hoping and crossing all fingers and toes and legs and arms that i will only need one round to do the trick for us.